All I Ever Wanted
by merka
Summary: Becoming Blair Bass is just a short trip down the aisle. The hard part is looking forward to their future together and accepting their past.
1. Two Words, Three Letters

"_He who beholds this, the loveliest rose on earth, shall never die." -_ Hans Christian Anderson

***

This was it.

The final moment.

The whole enchilada.

The last ten seconds of the fourth quarter.

There was no going back now.

_I am Blair Cornelia Waldorf_, Blair told herself, looking in the mirror with her chin tilted up. _I am Blair Cornelia Waldorf and as soon as I walk down that aisle and say 'I do' I will be Blair Cornelia Bass._

After dealing with the ups and downs of her relationship with Chuck for the past four years, she was pretty sure that taking a quick little stroll and saying a few short words should be a cakewalk. It would all take less than ten minutes. Ten measly minutes to tie up the many loose ends they had created together. Ten minutes, and everything they'd worked for and fought for and cried about and laughed about and brought together, all the waiting and wanting and scheming and hating and loving, all of it would be worth something. It would be worth him. Worth being with him for the rest of her life.

No matter what, they would be together. They wouldn't just be Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf. They would be Mr. and Mrs. Chuck Bass. She would always be an undeniable part of him. They would wake up together every morning. They would eat breakfast, and talk about everything they had always been too afraid to say when their future together wasn't certain. They would each go off and have their day apart at work or with friends, but they would always come home and know that whatever happens, they would always be there for each other. They would have game nights with Nate and Serena and then laugh later about how far they've come since high school. They would have parties, classy soirees with cocktails and too-stiff dresses and light conversation, but then they would turn off the lights and help each other wind down and forget everything other than the two of them. They would have children, one boy and one girl, Charles Bartholomew II and Audrey Eleanor, with Blair's dark hair and Chuck's contagious smile.

She had fought so hard and so long to be with Chuck. What had seemed like World War III for so many years had brought her to this moment, where she was finally being repaid for her bravery and determination.

A knock at the door made Blair's fantasies spin out of her head as quickly as they had come.

"Sweetheart," her father said, looking quite French in a black Armani tux, "you look absolutely breathtaking."

Blair smiled, looking into the three-way mirror once more. Her chocolate hair was pulled back into a sleek chignon, twisted and bobby pinned just right. Her dress was custom made, of course, long and strapless and the lightest of creams and seemingly simple, except when you looked closer you could see the thousands of tiny pearls hand sewn onto the silky fabric. She remembered she'd been so particular about what dress she picked, but now that she was literally moments away from saying 'I do', she could have cared less what she was wearing. It all seemed so insignificant compared to what was ahead.

Blair smiled, radiant as ever. "Thanks, Daddy. You don't look half-bad yourself."

"Well, a supporting actor has to look his best, too," Harold said, holding out his arm for Blair to take. "Are you ready, Blair Bear?"

Blair drew in a deep breath, took one last look in the mirror, and then placed her arm on top of her father's. "I am."

He walked Blair to the chapel door, where she could hear the people humming inside. Chuck was in there already. That was all Blair could think about. He was in there, waiting for her to be in there to.

Harold kissed the top of her head just before the doors opened and the music started.

Seeing all the people sitting in the huge church, the priest smiling with book in hand, Serena (her maid of honor), Nate (Chuck's best man), her mom, and Lily and Rufus, made Blair so nervous that she had to remind herself to breath. She did, slowly and surely, until her eyes landed on Chuck. He was staring at her, hands crossed in front of him, the truest smile she had ever seen on his face.

He was what made her feet move forward slowly, down the aisle, when she could barely even breath. She smiled for him even as she heard voices all around her ooing and ahing about her dress, about her hair, about _her_, like they had done her whole life. But for once, it didn't matter. It didn't matter how many times they told her she was beautiful. The only person she believed when he told her that was Chuck. He was the only person in the world who had ever made her feel beautiful. When her mom urged Blair to lose some of her 'extra weight', Chuck traced the curve between her hips and her breasts and told her how incredibly sexy she was. While what seemed like everyone in the world fawned all over Serena with her long blonde hair and golden skin, Chuck adored Blair for her chocolate curls and porcelain skin and soft doe eyes. When Blair was around Chuck, she didn't need to wear makeup or arrange her hair just so or wear some insanely tight cocktail dress to get him to notice her. In fact, Chuck had once told her he loved her the most right when the sun was coming up, when she would jump out of bed to turn the coffee pot on and throw on his shirt.

Blair kept her eyes locked to Chuck's as she walked the last few steps down the aisle, suddenly fierce and determined. When she stood in front of him, she knew he could see the fire in her eyes because the corners of his mouth turned up into a traditional Chuck Bass smirk.

_Probably thinking about what he's going to do to me later_, Blair thought, not even a little bit mad. She, too, had imagined this scene in the movie of her life a thousand times in the past few months. But she couldn't think about that right now, because Chuck looked really hot in his tux and if she didn't get her mind out of the gutter then she was going to rip off his clothes right there in front of God and everyone.

The priest started talking but Blair barely heard word he was saying because Chuck would not stop staring at her with that stupid grin on his face. It was so contagious that she found her own lips turning up into the biggest smile she'd had in ages.

"Do you, Blair Cornelia Waldorf, take Charles Bartholomew Bass to be your lawful wedded husband?"

And before Blair could even open her mouth, Chuck had leaned close to her, his mouth right by her ear.

"Two words," he began, and Blair's stomach fluttered, "three letters. Say it. I'm already yours."

She was so entranced by Chuck that she couldn't even hear the whispers that were echoing throughout the church. Everyone was wondering what Chuck Bass had just said to his almost-wife.

But only Blair knew. And she planned to keep it that way.

"I do," she said, her eyes starting to water. _Don't cry, Blair, don't you freaking cry, not in front of everyone_.

"And do you, Charles Bartholomew Bass, take Blair-"

"I do," Chuck interrupted, still all smiles.

Blair stole a glance at the priest, who looked a little annoyed that Chuck had interrupted him. For some reason, this made her giggle.

"I hadn't finished the sentence yet," the priest started.

"It doesn't matter," Chuck said. "I choose her."

And once again, without waiting for the priest, Chuck leaned down, wrapped his arms tightly around Blair's waist, and kissed her in front of everyone. He kissed her like he always did right before they disappeared into their bedroom on 5th Avenue and didn't come out for hours, sometimes days. He kissed her for what seemed like a million years before pulling back reluctantly.

"Have to save some for later, don't I, Mrs. Bass?" he whispered into her ear, and her entire body heated up and she giggled just because she liked the sound of that. Mrs. Bass. "Or do I?"

And then he kissed her again.

"Oh, heavens," the priest said, shaking his head.

But Blair didn't notice any of this. She was too wrapped up in Chuck, too wrapped up in the rest of her life.


	2. The Theory

"…_And when her edges soften,Her body is my coffin…"_

_-Ludo, _Love Me Dead

***

_July_

_Two Years Before_

If there were two things in the world that Blair Waldorf loathed above everything else, they were tacky clothes and Chuck Bass.

The first was a given. Her mom was a fashion designer, her idol was Audrey Hepburn. These two facts alone would make anyone believe she had impeccable taste, which, of course, she did.

The second was also a given, considering Chuck Bass was a pretentious, womanizing asshole who told a girl he loved her right before he jetted off to Sweden for a month on a supposed 'business trip', and he had only called said girl two times for a grand total of six minutes even though said girl could not stop thinking about him, no matter how hard she tried.

Which was, coincidentally, the exact situation Blair Waldorf was in. And thinking about Chuck Bass did not make planning her mother's charity fashion show any easier. Actually, since it basically involved the two things she hated most, it made Blair pretty pissed off.

"What is this?" Blair asked her assistant, Gretchen, as she plucked a horrid, puke-green chemise dress from one of the many racks in her penthouse apartment. All the major designers (Chanel, Prada, Dior, Versace, Chanel, Chanel, Chanel) had donated items in honor of Eleanor's charity, the Breast Cancer foundation, and she was supposed to be picking what to put in the show. Her mom had entrusted her with the job, which had delighted her (which she didn't say or show, of course), but now that the big day arrived, all she could think about was Chuck Bass. About how the motherchucker himself was in Sweden right now, too busy banging some Swedish milkmaid or getting high to even think about talking to his girlfriend. He didn't even know she was planning this thing because the last time she had talked to him was two weeks ago, when his cell phone had "cut out" through a tunnel after only two minutes. What the hell was that about?

"Um," Gretchen said, biting her nails nervously like she had been for the past hour. "It's a…dress, Miss Waldorf?"

"It looks like someone threw up on it and then ran over it with a garbage truck," Blair said.

Blair got a little bit of sick satisfaction out of the terrified look on Gretchen's face.

"It-It's Dior," Gretchen said, her eyes wide.

"It's also hideous, Gretchen," Blair said, taking a sip of her no-fat, caramel latte. Even it tasted bittersweet. "Get rid of it."

"Y-yes, Miss Waldorf," Gretchen stuttered, taking the dress from Blair and simultaneously scribbling furiously on her overflowing clipboard. If Blair weren't so worked up over Chuck, she probably would have been impressed by Gretchen's organizational skills. But she was, and, she wasn't.

Blair was a smart girl. So why had she thought that just because Chuck had told her he loved her, it meant he was going to change? It was pretty obvious that that wasn't going to happen. If he really loved her, he wouldn't have freaking left her here all alone while he traipsed off to the Land of the Leggy Blonde Women. If he really wanted her as much as he said he did, he would have attempted to call her more than twice in the past month and he definitely wouldn't have hung up after only two minutes.

If he was serious, he would be here. And since he was in Sweden, it was pretty clear that he wasn't serious.

She should have known better.

At that moment, Blair need comfort. She needed safety. She needed to feel beautiful, and wanted, and smart, and sexy.

Only one place to find all that.

As Blair headed over to the Chanel rack, she could hear Gretchen yapping on her cell phone with someone.

Blair pulled the first thing that caught her eye off the rack: a mid-thigh length black shift dress with three-quarters sleeves and a square neckline.

"Hello, beautiful," Blair sighed, hugging the soft dress to her chest and closing her eyes. She might not be able to count on Chuck to be there for her, but she could always, always, alwayscount on Chanel.

"Um, Miss Waldorf?" she heard Gretchen say from behind her.

"Yes?" Blair replied, still holding onto her Chanel for dear life, only slightly annoyed at Gretchen's interruption.

"Chuck Bass wants to speak to you."

Blair was temporarily frozen at the sound of Chuck's name. She hadn't heard it come out of anyone's mouth except her own, and, of course, Serena's, for the past month. Most of the time, she was pouring her heart out to Serena, and most of the time they didn't use his exact name. Actually, those conversations usually went something like this:

Blair: "How could that mother chucking basstard just up and leave me after all that's happened between us? Is he _trying _to torture me?"

Serena, patting Blair's back: "He's Chuck. Is that even a question?"

Blair, swatting her away: "What do you know? You helped him."

Serena: "What? Me? What are you even talking about, B?"

Blair: "Oh, you know, by cleverly convincing me that he _loves _me."

Serena: "B, he does love you. He told you he loves you. Don't you remember, heartfelt, speech, cute little gifts, all the adorable, sappy kisses?"

Blair: "Yeah, well obviously that was a lie. Just like every other thing that comes out of that lying liar pants' mouth."

Serena, laughing: "Did you just say 'lying liar pants'? I think you need to lay off the caffeine, B."

And it was true. She had been drinking a lot of coffee lately, but how else was she expected to calm her anxious nerves? And, you know, her other more animalistic urges. Smoking was unladylike (even though Audrey did) and she couldn't exactly go out and have some wild, passionate night with a random lax player with nice biceps because, unlike _some _people she knew, she was in what she thought was a committed relationship and she planned to keep it that way.

Blair sighed again, pulling the dress closer to her like a security blanket.

"Please tell Mr. _Bass_," Blair said, "that Miss Waldorf is not interested in speaking to him on account of the fact that he is an inconsiderate asshole who deserves to fall off the face of the earth."

"Gretchen," an all-too familiar voice said from behind her, "would you please inform Miss Waldorf that Mr. Bass has returned from Sweden and would very much like to see his beautiful girlfriend?"

At Chuck's voice, Blair turned around only to come face to face with the man she loved and hated every second of her life. Blair glanced at Gretchen, who looked extremely confused, and was suddenly even angrier than she had been before.

"Gretchen," Blair said, staring directly at Chuck, who was smirking like he knew something she didn't. "You're dismissed. Same time tomorrow."

"Yes, Miss Waldorf," Gretchen said with obvious relief in her voice before she hightailed it out of the Waldorf penthouse, trusty clipboard in hand.

Blair could not help but notice that Chuck looked extremely sexy in the navy blue suit he was wearing. And the way he was leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed over his chest, and that freaking grin on his face, and the way he was staring at her like he had an enormous sweet tooth and she was a lemon meringue pie…

_You're supposed to be mad at him_, Blair told herself, turning away to squelch the warm feeling that was rising slowly from her toes.

"I'm busy, Bass," Blair said, pretending to sort through the Chanel rack she was still standing in front of. When Chanel couldn't even keep her mind off of Chuck, she knew she was in big trouble.

"You have minions, now?" Chuck teased, ignoring her. As always.

"As I said _before_," Blair snapped, pushing aside a set of hangers with a little extra force, "I'm busy. I don't have time for your games, Chuck."

"Is that so?"

The way he said it, Blair could tell that he was amused by her fury, which just pissed her off even more. This was the man that she loved, who had finally told her he loved her a little over a month ago after two years of lying and scheming and hurting and stupid little games. This was the man that she hadn't seen and barely talked to in a month, the man she had dreaded seeing for a month, the man she had gone crazy without seeing him for a month.

"Yes, _really_, basshole," she said, continuing to flick through the rack, glad Chuck couldn't see her face because it would reveal way too much hurt. "Because while you were off in Sweden or Switzerland or wherever the hell you were with your little Swedish milkmaids, you obviously didn't have enough time to pick up the phone every once in a while and call, I don't know, your girlfriend."

"Blair," Chuck said.

She wasn't done. "You probably can't count that high. Maybe the numbers on the punch pad confused you. I don't know what the hell is wrong with you Bass, but if you think for a second that-"

"Blair-"

"-you can just waltz right in here with your little bouquet of peonies and your charming smile and your navy suit and I will just fall all over you-"

"Blair-"

"-then you are seriously mistaken, because I am Blair Cornelia Waldorf, and I do not take anyone's crap, not even-"

"Blair!"

"What?!" she yelled, whipping around to face him. By now, Blair's hands were shaking she was so angry. Her eyes were stinging and she knew she was about to cry, but she wouldn't let herself do that. Especially not in front of him.

"Dinner tonight," he said. Not a question. "The Palace. The car will pick you up at eight o'clock."

And before she could open her mouth to retort with some classic, witty remark, his lips were on hers and he was kissing her more deeply than she had ever remembered him kissing her before. And then after two intense seconds, he pulled away and was in the elevator, and then he was gone.

Blair could barely breathe even after Chuck left. She hated him for making her feel this way, like he was the only man she could ever love, like she couldn't ever be mad at him, like she didn't have a choice.

But she had seen the way he looked at her. Even though her anger had made her completely and totally unappeasable, it hadn't made her blind. She felt the way he always made her feel when he looked at her, from that very first night they'd spent together in the back of his limo when she was sixteen years old. It was two years later now, and she still melted like ice cream on a hot day whenever his eyes flashed at the sight of her.

She loved him for making her feel this way.

Why did every freaking feeling she had for him have to be entirely conflicted? She loved him, she hated him. She was completely and totally turned on by him, she wanted to strangle him. He pissed her off, he made her happier than anyone else could. Why did it all have to happen at the same time? Was that even normal?

Her first thought: _Of course it isn't_. _He's Chuck Bass and I'm Blair Waldorf. We may be a lot of things, but we are definitely not normal._

Her second thought: _Shit. Now I have to go to dinner with him._

***

The car showed up at eight o'clock on the dot, just like Chuck had promised, and Blair Waldorf was dressed to kill.

She was wearing, of course, a Chanel black strapless cocktail dress that was so short it was probably illegal in many countries, and one of her favorite pairs of black Prada stilettos. She wanted to know why Chuck hadn't called her and what he'd been doing in Sweden for so long. She wanted to know everything, and after she knew, she was going to try as hard as she could to be furious with him and make him work for it.

And when he saw her, she knew he would work for it.

When she got to The Palace, Chuck's hotel, the driver held the door open for her and she stepped inside. She rounded the corner to the restaurant, where she spotted Chuck sitting at the bar, nursing a drink, probably scotch, and so she started towards him. She knew that a lot of guys were checking her out. Of course they were. She was Blair Waldorf.

She was almost to Chuck when a leggy, blonde woman skinnier than the heel on Blair's stilettos slid into the seat next to him. She kept walking, slower, watching the two of them interact. Apparently the bitch was funny because Chuck started to laugh.

"Really, Bass?" Blair said, standing right in front of them, her throat beginning to tighten. "This is what you brought me here for? So I could watch you fawn all over your little Barbie doll?"

Chuck started at the sound of Blair's voice, but he didn't look guilty. Not even a little bit. He even had the nerve to steal a quick glance at the woman, who didn't look guilty either.

"You're right," the woman said in a weird accent, smiling even though Blair had just insulted her. What the hell was going on here? "She's perfect."

"Blair," Chuck said, his eyes telling her to be nice. "This is Johanna. I met her in Sweden at a meeting with some marketing executives there and I hired her on the spot to be my PR guru. She's brilliant, the best out there to maintain the Bass Inc. image"

"And married," Johanna added with another smile, and Blair almost felt guilty. Almost. "It's nice to finally meet you. You are all I have heard about for almost a month now."

"The pleasure's all mine," Blair said, extending her hand, which Johanna shook. "I'm Blair Waldorf, Chuck's-"

"Girlfriend," Chuck interrupted. "She's my girlfriend. Isn't she beautiful?"

If there was another thing Blair hated, it was being put on the spot. Especially by Chuck. She glared at him, but Johanna just laughed it off.

"Surprisingly enough, she's definitely lived up to your praise, Mr. Bass," Johanna said, a twinkle in her eye. "You better hold onto her. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an important meeting with a certain husband who I haven't seen for far too long. At the office at nine tomorrow, Mr. Bass?"

"Please call me Chuck, Johanna," he said, "and nine is perfect."

"As you wish, Chuck. See you around, Blair," Johanna said with a little wave before leaving Blair alone with Chuck.

As soon as Johanna's blonde mane disappeared around the corner, Chuck pulled Blair into the seat next to him, holding both her hands in one of his.

"Blair," he said, looking straight into her eyes, even though she refused to meet his. "What is all this about?"

"All what, Chuck?" Blair asked, her voice smooth and bitter, like dark chocolate. "What do you want me to say to you?"

"I want you to tell me why you wouldn't even look at me today when I tried to surprise you," he said. "I want you to tell me why you were so quick to jump to conclusions today when I invited you here. I want you to tell me why you won't even look at me now when I'm-"

"When you're what? What are you trying to do, Bass? Please, elaborate."

"Blair," Chuck said, tilting her face up to meet his. Blair didn't try to fight it. When she looked at him, she saw all the unhappiness and vulnerability she had witnessed after his father died, when she'd first told him she loved him. When he had shot her down. When he had made her cry, when he had made the unshakeable Blair Waldorf cry for days and days before finally coming back to her. "Blair. What is going on?"

The tears were coming again now. She could feel the pressure. She had to breathe slowly, inhale, exhale, over and over again to keep herself from losing it.

"I thought that when you told me you loved me," Blair began, keeping a steady rhythm because it soothed her, "that we could just… be together. Like a normal couple. No games, no ridiculous bets, no scheming or plotting or manipulating or lies. Just normal couple fights. Like, over who calls who more often or who is more understanding and other stuff like that. The little things."

"We can be like that, Blair," Chuck said, looking so sincere that Blair could hardly stand it. She blinked hard, but a few tears still found their way down her cheek.

"We can't though," Blair said, shaking her head slightly. "We can't."

Chuck pulled her closer to him, but she pulled back.

"Chuck, I can't keep doing this if you're going to keep leaving me. You left me in Tuscany. You left me the night of my mom's wedding. You left me after you told me you loved me. You always leave right when I think that we're finally going to stop hurting each other and start just being together, and then every time you come back, it's like we're right back to where we started. But I can't keep going around in circles, Chuck. I can't keep stopping and starting and stopping and starting all over again."

After Blair finished talking, Chuck turned away and was very quiet for what seemed like forever. Blair kept looking at him, trying to gauge his reaction, trying to figure out what was running through his mind. Blair knew what she was thinking. She knew that she wanted nothing more than to be with Chuck Bass, but she also knew that if he kept leading her on like this, kept making her feel like their relationship could fall of the edge of a cliff at any moment, she was going to go insane.

Finally Chuck turned back and looked at her, and she found she could hardly handle it.

"I know that our past is rough, Blair," he said, tightening his grip on her hands. They fit so well together. "But I want you to know that, if you're willing to trust the fact that I meant it when I said 'I love you', Blair Cornelia Waldorf, I will always only love you. I can only hope that is enough for you believe in me. Because I sure as hell don't want to lose you."

Now it was Chuck's turn to watch Blair, who was staring at him with her eyes round and glistening. Blair didn't wait as long as Chuck did to wrap her arms around his neck and envelope him in a kiss that healed so many things between them.

"Do you forgive me now?" Chuck murmured, forehead pressed to hers.

Blair answered with another hungry kiss, which Chuck greedily ate up.

"So now that we can go back to being the can't-keep-their-hands-off-each-other couple," Chuck said, leaving a twenty dollar bill on the table and sliding off his bar stool, "I can answer another one of your questions."

He offered his hand to Blair, and she took it, following him off his chair.

Blair raised an eyebrow. "What other question?"

"Why I didn't call you in Sweden."

Then he started walking towards where Blair knew the bathrooms were located without another word.

And she followed him. Because who wouldn't follow Chuck Bass into an empty bathroom?

"Chuck," Blair said as she walked into the girl's bathroom, where Chuck was waiting. "You do realize you're a boy, right?"

Chuck just laughed at her and walked back to the door, and Blair took the opportunity to check her reflection in the long silver mirror. Hair, still in place in a sleek chignon. Dress, still freaking sexy. Makeup, still flawless.

She heard a soft clicking noise right before she felt (and saw, thanks to the mirror) the wonderful presence of one Chuck Bass standing right behind her, his body pressed to hers. She almost lost it right there.

"So," Chuck began, kissing a spot on her neck, just below her ear. The part of her that he knew drove her over the edge. "You want to know why I didn't call you in Sweden?"

"Chuck-" Blair started, her voice hazy, her eyes closed.

"Shh," Chuck said, turning her around to face him and then lifting her up and sitting her on the sink. "My turn to talk now."

And then he took off her dress, leaving her in nothing but her black bra and panties. He was pretty skilled at removing her dresses by now. Blair was vaguely aware that she was sitting on a sink in a hotel bar bathroom, but Chuck was kissing her neck, then her shoulders, and she really couldn't have cared less about where she was. She concentrated fully on how she felt.

"See, I have this theory," Chuck said, trailing kisses lower and lower and lower as he talked. "Say someone really loves…chocolate."

A soft kiss, on the little V directly below her neck.

"And they eat chocolate every day, except they get so used to it that it never really fully…satisfies."

_Oh my God_, Blair thought as Chuck's mouth traveled from her clavicle to the valley between her breasts, leaving electric chills on all the spots he marked his own.

"So this person, say her name is Blair," he said, his lips marking the curve of her waist. "She decides to give up chocolate for one whole month, hoping that in the end, the payoff will be much greater than the want she has to endure for one long, torturous month."

_Oh my God_.

"The month is arduous and unending, and so many times she wants to give in, but she doesn't. And when the month is over…"

His lips are on her stomach, just below her belly button.

"…she eats an entire bar of chocolate. And it is the most delicious thing she has ever tasted."

"Chuck," Blair managed to say, her voice hoarse. "If you don't take me up to your room right now, I will kill you."

Chuck smiled into her stomach before helping her back into her dress.

"Happy to oblige, as always," he said with a grin, and the two of them ran as fast as their legs would carry them to his suite, where Blair discovered over and over how true Chuck's theory really was.


	3. New Beginnings

_"In the face of true love, you don't just give up... even if the object of your affection is begging you to." - _Chuck Bass

***

The reception, held at the Palace Hotel, passed in a flurry of cake and dancing and crab cakes. Blair danced her first dance with Chuck, danced once each with her father, Roman, and Nate, who lead her through the Macarena with surprising agility. But after that, Chuck monopolized her for the rest of the night, spinning her around the dance floor and dipping her low like he was meant to do just that for the rest of his life.

As the end of the night loomed closer and Cristal champagne buzzed guests began to congratulate them and then take off, Blair was still wrapped up in Chuck's arms. She was starting to get nervous and anxious and antsy about their impending night together. She tried to fight her nerves by tucking her head into Chuck's shoulder and closing her eyes. She might have stayed like that for forever if she hadn't felt someone tap on her shoulder.

Blair turned around to find a glowing Serena in front of her. She looked breathtaking, as usual, like a painting or something, in a flowy royal blue dress.

"I'll give you two a few minutes," Chuck said, kissing Blair lightly on her cheek before rushing off to find Nate. The waiters were already cleaning up everything, towels in their hands, their once bountiful trays now completely empty and unseen. The only few people around were some of the men and women who had clicked at the singles table and were chatting and flirting, oblivious to the emptiness surrounding them. Just like Blair was. She hadn't even noticed that people were leaving. When Blair was around Chuck, it was like the entire world just fell away behind them. Like in the movies, when the camera blurred out everyone but the main couple as they kissed in the rain as the sun was going down. Yes, it was exactly like that.

"So," Serena began, taking Blair's tiny hands in her own and holding them like only best friends could do. "How do you feel?"

How could she possibly explain to Serena how she felt? How could she possibly explain to _anyone_ what was going on inside her? She felt like a bottle of champagne, all bubbly and crazy, like she could explode at any possible moment. She felt light; all the hardships she faced seemed like so long ago and were suddenly obsolete. She was hopeful and worried and anxious and basically every other feeling about the future, about what lay ahead for Chuck and her now that what seemed like the hardest part was over with. She felt giddy because the whole night Chuck had made it a point to call her Mrs. Bass, which reminded her of the ending of _Pride and Prejudice_, one of her favorite movies of all time. But most of all, she felt happy. Uncontrollably, unconditionally happy.

Serena didn't miss the huge grin that lit up Blair's face.

"I'll take that as an 'I'm wonderful, S, thank you for asking'," Serena said, pulling Blair in for a tight hug. "God, I'm so happy for you. But, I have to admit, it was a little strange earlier seeing you standing up at the altar with Chuck. I mean, if you'd asked any of us five years ago where we though Chuck Bass would be now, it certainly wouldn't have been married."

At Serena's mention of Chuck's past, Blair could only laugh. She knew that Chuck wasn't the same man he was five years ago, and she accepted that. There was nothing she could do to change the past. All she could do was look forward to the future.

"Probably on the floor in an opium den somewhere," Blair said, still unable to stop smiling.

Serena laughed. "In Bangkok. With, like, a million thai hookers that feed him and make sure he bathes and…you know."

"Thanks for the mental image, S," Blair teased.

"Oh come on, B," Serena said. "When you think about it, your marriage is going to kind of going to be like that. I mean, Chuck won't have thai hookers to take care of him so that leaves you to do the job. But, no offense, you're not exactly the Betty Crocker type, Blair."

"None taken," Blair said, tucking a strand of Serena's hair behind her ear. "Besides, I am _extremely_ capable of taking care of Chuck in my own way."

Serena shook her head in mock disgust. "Ew, B, did not need to know that."

Blair just grinned. She had her best friend here with her, and her husband, and, God, it felt good to think of Chuck as her husband.

"Speaking of that," Serena said, a slow smile creeping onto her face, "the party is winding down, and if you and Chuck want to have some _alone_ time, I can make sure everything gets taken care of here."

Blair laughed at Serena's emphasis on the word 'alone'. Serena, who was definitely a lot more experienced than Blair when it came to sex (although being with Chuck had upped Blair's ante quite a bit), acted like a giggly five-year-old whenever they talked about it together.

"Thanks, S," Blair said, squeezing Serena's hands in hers. In a lot of ways, her relationship with Serena was very similar to her relationship with Chuck (minus the kissing and the sex part, of course). Serena was her best friend, and no one else could ever fill that position, just like she could never love anyone the way she loved Chuck. Throughout high school, Blair and Serena's on/off friendship had been more gossip-worthy than any romantic relationship. Just like Chuck, one day she would hate Serena so much she wanted to kill her, and the next she would be completely and totally in love with her, pigging out on take-out and watching old movies. They'd gotten better at trying to keep their dynamic like the latter now that they were fully-grown, mature adults, but they still fought. Because that's what best friends do.

Just then Blair felt a light touch on her lower back, a touch that sent insane chills throughout her entire body. She didn't have to look to know it was Chuck.

"Ready to go, Mrs. Bass?" Chuck asked, leaning close to her ear. He'd been talking to her like this all night, really close, like he didn't want anyone to know what he was thinking but her. Every time he did it, her heart skipped a beat. She wasn't sure if that was healthy or not, but at least if she died, she would die happy.

"Why yes, it just so happens that I am," Blair said. "Just let me say goodbye to Serena really fast."

Chuck pulled her in for a quick kiss. "I'll have Antonio bring the limo around."

"B," Serena said when he was gone. "It's your wedding night. You don't have to say goodbye to me."

Blair smiled and pulled Serena into a hug once more. "You're still my best friend, S. Besides, if you hadn't talked me into it, I would never have married the basshole anyways. So, really, you're the reason I'm here."

"Yes, Chuck had nothing at all to do with it," Serena laughed, breaking the embrace.

Blair raised an eyebrow. "No sarcasm allowed at my wedding."

"Technically," Serena said, glancing at her Cartier watch, "your wedding was over four hours ago. And, hey, you, my friend, are not the boss of me. At least, not anymore."

"Still love me, S?" Blair asked, cocking her head a little to the side.

Serena didn't hesitate for a moment before hugging Blair one last time. "Always, B. Now go find Chuck, you crazy, married woman."

And even though Blair wasn't the boss of Serena (presently), and Serena wasn't the boss of Blair, this was one order that Blair was all too eager to obey.

***

When Blair left the hotel, Chuck was there waiting, leaning against his limo in an eerily familiar position.

Blair's heart skipped a beat. _It's like when he said he loved me for the first time_.

"Your carriage awaits, Mrs. Bass," Chuck said, hand on her lower back as he helped her into the limo, and then followed her in.

When the door shut behind them, Blair realized it was the only time all day it had just been her and Chuck. When she had woken up this morning in Chuck's suite at the Palace (she had moved in a few months ago), Chuck was still asleep and he looked so relaxed that she didn't want to wake him, so she had left a note saying she would see him later at the church, love Blair. All morning had been spent with Serena getting her hair and nails and makeup done, with nothing but a quick phone call from Chuck telling her that he loved her and he was spending the morning golfing with Nate. After that they'd gone to the church, where Blair's mom and Serena had helped her get ready. The first time she'd seen Chuck the whole day was when she was walking down the aisle. Then there was the reception, where Blair got to be surrounded by all the people she loved.

Of course, she adored spending time with all these people. She loved being pampered and laughing and joking with Serena about what married life would be like. The ceremony had been everything she could have asked for and then some, and the reception was perfect and fun and she had loved dancing with Chuck and saying thank you to every single person that had been present.

But it was this moment that she had been looking forward to the most. The moment when their marriage would feel real for the first time, when there was no one but the two of them and how they felt about each other and why the day had happened in the first place. When it was just Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck, when Blair could let down her hair and kick off her shoes and just be with him.

And that's exactly what she did.

As the limo started to pull away, Chuck pulled Blair into him so that she was sitting on his lap. She felt a tingly warmth start to creep up through her entire body, all the way from her toes. She was pretty sure that not wearing a seatbelt in New York traffic probably wasn't the smartest move, but she didn't care. Not even a little bit. At least she would die happy.

"You want to know something, Blair?" Chuck said, leaning his head into the crook of Blair's neck. She closed her eyes and let herself fall into him. He smelled like scotch and cigar smoke, one of her favorite scents in the entire world.

"Hmm?" Blair said, running one hand through Chuck's hair. It was surprisingly soft.

Chuck caught her hand in his own, and she opened her eyes to look at him. He was staring at her and Blair was overcome with a sense of déjà vu. It was strange that right here, in the back of the limo, was where everything had started. If only she had know that night that this is where Chuck would take her. If only she had known that breaking up with Nate wasn't the horrible tragedy she had made it out to be. If only she had known that losing her virginity to Chuck wasn't the worst mistake of her life, but the best thing that could ever happen to her.

Blair stopped thinking about it. None of it mattered. She was here with him now, wasn't she? There was no use getting hung up on 'if onlys' .

"For the past two years, I have been thankful every day because you didn't give up on me," Chuck said. "Even when it was hard, even when we hurt each other, when we hurt ourselves, you wouldn't let me quit. You knew more about what I wanted than I did. You saw past the games and the lies and the scheming, and you saw this. You knew all along that we belonged together. Sometimes I wish I had known, too."

"Shh," Blair said, lightly intertwining her arms around his shoulders and pulling him close to her. "You did know, Chuck. It was hard for me to accept the fact that I was in love with you at first, and it was even harder for you. But you did know. You wouldn't have kept coming back to me if you didn't."

Chuck pulled her in for a long kiss, and Blair felt hot and tingly and happy all at the same time. She was pretty sure that if she were dynamite, this was about the time that she would explode. She wasn't sure if she could wait until they got to wherever they were going (Chuck had refused to tell her, although Blair was pretty sure he was just driving in circles and taking them back to the Palace). Chuck's hands were on her back and her sides and her breasts and his tongue was inside her mouth and it was all so much at once that she could hardly stand it. She tugged on his tie, working the knot expertly, when Chuck pulled her hands down.

"Easy, killer," he said, his mouth less than an inch from hers. "We're not even home yet."

Blair ignored him and returned to trying to get his clothes off. "Last time I checked, you were a fan of limo sex, Mr. Bass."

Chuck encircled his fingers around Blair's wrists, but continued to kiss her lightly.

"Don't make me have to ground you," he said.

Blair laughed. "Only if I get to ground you, too."

"Hmmm," Chuck said between kisses. "That sounds like the best form of punishment."

They continued to kiss (but no further, to Blair's chagrin) until the limo lulled to a stop. As unladylike as it was to admit it, Blair couldn't wait to get up to their suite where they could rip each others clothes off and make love over and over again, not reappearing in public until Serena or Nate of her mom or someone had to file a missing person's report. But just as Blair's hands closed around the door, Chuck stopped her again.

"Just one thing first," he said.

And then Chuck tied a strip of black silky cloth over her eyes.

"Chuck," Blair started, not sure what he was doing.

"Just trust me," she heard him say into her ear.

Then she heard a clicking sound and Chuck was helping her outside the door, one hand in hers, one hand on her lower back. Once they were outside, Chuck lifted her into his arms with one quick motion.

"Where are we going?" she asked, the sounds of New York suddenly seeming unfamiliar when she couldn't see.

Blair felt when Chuck started to walk, his feet moving in a steady rhythm against a hard surface.

"Chuck!" Blair said when he didn't answer. "Where are we going."

"Shut up, Blair," Chuck said, and Blair could hear the smirk on his lips. She knew him that well.

Usually no one who valued their life told Blair Waldorf to shut up, not even Chuck Bass, but today she would make an exception. She was, in fact, not Blair Waldorf anymore. So she shut her mouth and laid her head on Chuck's shoulder, soothed by the even rhythm of Chuck's steps. She had absolutely no idea where they were, and no clues to speak of, except for the fact that they got on an elevator where someone said, "Good evening, Mr. Bass. Mrs. Bass," which Blair thought must have been very amusing for them to say, considering she was blindfolded, barefoot, in a wedding dress, in Chuck's arms, and in an elevator. Then again, stranger things had happened between her and Chuck.

It seemed like forever until Chuck's movement finally stopped. When she heard him fumbling with a key, she knew that they were home. She expected him to take off her blindfold or put her down or something, but he didn't.

The door opened and he was carrying her through. He was carrying her over the threshold, a tradition that seemed strange to Blair just because it was normal.

"You know," Blair said as they walked through. "I may be the first person to ever do that blindfolded."

She heard Chuck laugh before he set her down gently. Her feet hit the softest carpet.

"Stay here for a second," Chuck said, and once again she found herself obeying. She tried to get a sense of her surroundings, even with her temporary blindness. Blair didn't like not knowing every little detail of her life, and since Chuck didn't show any signs of coming back anytime soon, she decided to figure it out herself.

Wherever they were wasn't the Palace. She could tell that much. She could tell by the way the carpet felt on her toes and the way the air smelled sort of like spring water and hydrangeas. And she didn't know how she knew it, but the room just felt bigger, airier, lighter, in a way. She could hear Chuck shuffling around the room, but other than that she had no idea what he was doing. It was all very cryptic.

Just when Blair thought she couldn't take one more second of it, she felt Chuck's hands untying the blindfold.

And then she could see.

"Oh my God," Blair said, one hand reaching to cover her mouth.

She was in an apartment. But not just any apartment. It was enormous, with a spiral staircase in the middle that probably lead to even more room. There was a living room with a fire place and beautiful furnishings that looked straight out of an interior decorating magazine. There were doors everywhere, and Blair wanted to go look behind them all, but she couldn't because A) she wouldn't know where to start and B) she was gripping Chuck's hand so tightly that she couldn't possibly pull away.

The most beautiful thing of all was that there were candles. Everywhere.

"Is this…" Blair started, turning to Chuck.

Chuck grinned, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Yes."

She had lived with Chuck in his suite in the Palace for over three months, and she had loved every second of it. But she had always sort of wanted something more, something new that they could start together. It was Chuck's suite, Chuck's hotel. Everything about it held Chuck's past, some it of good, some of it bad, most of it definitely not PG-13. And while moving in with Chuck had been a huge hurdle in their relationship, she sort of wanted to prove that they could move on from the past. And having their own apartment seemed like a way to start a future together.

She'd never said anything to Chuck. She hadn't wanted him to think that what they had wasn't enough. But he had known all along what she'd wanted. Once again, Chuck Bass had proven that he knew her better than anyone else did.

"Do you want to see the rest of it?" Chuck asked.

Blair's lips twisted up into a sideways smile. "I want to see one room in particular, actually."

And then before Blair could say anything else, Chuck picked her up and carried her to their new bedroom in their new apartment, and when that wasn't enough, they spent the whole getting to know _every_ room like the back of their hand in the place that held their future together.


	4. Backfire

"_Couples are wholes and not wholes, what agrees disagrees, the concordant is discordant. From all things one and from one all things." - _Heraclitus

_***_

_Two Years Before_

_September_

Like many other things, _nobody_ does college like Blair Waldorf.

"Blair," Chuck said through gritted teeth, the sleeves on his Marc Jacobs button down shirt rolled up to expose some very muscular forearms, which Blair had been staring at for the past three trips up and down the Weinstein steps. "You know all this stuff isn't going to fit in your room, right? It's smaller than your closet, Waldorf."

"Oh, hush," Blair said with her million dollar smile, running one hand down Chuck's back. "I was going to hire movers. You're the one who volunteered to come."

Six flights of stairs down, one to go. Blair was conveniently located on the seventh floor.

Chuck huffed. "Yeah, well that was before I knew you planned on condensing your entire penthouse into a shoebox-sized dorm room."

"Don't be overdramatic, Basshole. I only brought the necessities."

"Blair," Chuck said as they reached the top of the stairs. He set down the heavy brown box in his hands and crossed his arms over his chest. "You brought sixty-seven pairs of shoes."

"Like I said before," Blair reiterated. "Necessities."

Chuck sighed as Blair opened the door to her room, room 729, so that he could lug the last box in.

Last box lined neatly up with the other seven, Chuck turned to Blair and said, "You know, I still think that you should-"

"Not a chance, Bass," Blair said, sitting down on the dorm bed, which she had covered in a pillow top and one thousand thread count sheets to make it feel more like home and less like the same old dorm ick that everyone else experienced.

Chuck had spent the past month trying to convince Blair to move in with him rather than living in the dorms. And while the past two months their relationship had been insanely passionate, intense, and, above all things, _satisfying_, Blair wasn't sure whether or not she was ready to take that step. She had been ready to tell Chuck she loved him, to have Chuck finally express his feelings for her (God knows she'd been ready for that), to be in a real, honest-to-God nine-to-five relationship with Chuck. She'd been ready for all these things, and she knew that because of the way she felt when she thought about them, like it was now or never.

She loved Chuck. She was sure of it, one-hundred thousand million percent sure of it. She loved the way he made her heart race just by looking at her. She loved the way that he would call her from the office just because he caught a whiff of Chanel no. 5 and it reminded him of her. He brought her peonies, and ninety-nine percent of the time she managed not to throw them at him (the one percent was when he had the audacity to make fun of the turkey she had tried to cook. Of course, she didn't stay mad at him for long. There was a lot of screaming and yelling, mostly on Blair's part, until they both somehow, coincidentally, purely by chance ended up naked in the kitchen. And they definitely _weren't_ cooking).

She loved Chuck in every way opposite that she had loved Nate. Nate had been her childhood sweetheart. He had scrutinized her every move since she was five-years-old, and when they were together, she was pretty sure that he still expected her to be the same person she was when they first met. He had never really accepted Blair for who she was, which had made it hard for _Blair_ to accept Blair for who she was. She had loved Nate because he made it easy to try to be good, to try to be the perfect girlfriend, get married after college, have 2.5 kids and a white picket fence (not that Blair Waldorf would _ever_ one of those), have the family ring, plan society events. Be stuck in the same poisonous rut for the rest of her life.

She loved Chuck because he loved every part of who she was. She didn't have to worry about being too manipulative or vulnerable or passionate or too anything. She didn't have to be anything other than what she wanted, and what she wanted was to be with Chuck. Really, it was perfect.

She didn't know what was stopping her from saying 'yes' to Chuck's proposal to move-in. Maybe it was the fact that she was bound and determined to do college the 'right way', and when Blair had her mind set on something, it was stuck there like Crazy Glue. Maybe it was that she had almost, _almost_ moved in with Nate, only to have Chuck finally confess his feelings for her a few weeks later. Things changed so quickly, and Blair wasn't sure whether or not she was ready to keep up.

But part of her thought that maybe the reason she wasn't so quick to scream, "Yes Chuck! Yes I'll move in with you!" was because, the fact of the matter was, they just weren't ready. It was hard to believe, after all they had been through together, but even Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck had their boundaries. And this was one boundary they had not crossed yet. What happened if, when Blair moved in with Chuck, she suddenly realized it drove her bonkers that Chuck brushed his teeth in a counterclockwise motion when she brushed hers clockwise? Where did they go from there? Did they just break up over dental issues? Would it get that bad?

She didn't know, and she wasn't ready to find out. Not yet.

She saw a flicker of sadness pass over Chuck's face, but she didn't know how to tell him that she wasn't ready. It seemed sort of hypocritical, after spending so long pushing him and pushing him to expedite the process of their relationship, to be ready. To tell him now that she wasn't ready seemed too complicated, and for once, she didn't know what to do. So she resorted to what she did best. To what _they _did best.

"You know," Blair said, scooting back on her bed and raising the hem of her short navy blue dress a little bit higher, "these sheets are new."

The change in Chuck's posture was unmistakable and Blair was instantly turned on by the look he gave her.

"Oh, is that so?" Chuck asked, already leaning over her.

And then he was kissing her. Not just cautious, reserved kissing (not that that kind of kissing was really in their repertoire, anyways), but serious make-out-like-high-schoolers-with-raging-hormones kissing. Chuck's hands were all over her body, his tie was magically undone, and then the two of them were somehow both horizontal on Blair's bed, which she figured out was extremely comfortable. Chuck's hands were slowly sliding down the straps of Blair's dress when she heard a noise.

Someone coughing.

The two of them looked up at the same time to see the person Blair Waldorf loathed above all others.

"Oh, don't stop on my account," a smirking Georgina said, arms crossed over her chest. "We all know the world needs to be populated with more people like Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass."

"Georgina?" Chuck asked, adjusting himself.

"What the hell are _you _doing here?" Blair asked, a little bit dizzy from going from in her own little la la land with Chuck to infuriated in less than two seconds.

"Um," Georgina said, eyeing Blair's dress and gesturing towards the strap. Blair looked down to see her black bra strap showing, her dress sleeve loosely draped down her arm. Trying hard not to seem flustered, Blair restored herself to decency.

"Seriously, Whoregina," Blair said, following Chuck off the bed and taking a protective stance in front of him. "I forgot the part where I said I wanted you here. Leave."

Georgina laughed, and there was something so eerie about it that Blair shivered. "Blair, darling, didn't you get the memo? This is _our _dorm."

Georgina handed Blair a paper, and Blair almost threw up.

_Georgina Sparks, WH 729_

_Roommate: Blair Waldorf, WH 729_

"Oh sweet heaven," Blair said, feeling even dizzier than before, handing the paper over to Chuck. She was going to vomit. She was going to vomit all over Chuck's nice Italian shoes and in front of Georgina. She tried to compose herself, hands on hips in the same intimidating stance that had made dozens of freshmen girls cry. "I demand to know where you got that from."

Chuck put his arm around Blair's waist, pulling her close. She was pretty sure he could sense the impending meltdown and was doing everything in his power to prevent it from happening.

"It looks legit, Blair," Chuck said, completely ignoring Georgina.

"Oh, it is," Georgina said, leaning in the doorframe. "Just got the e-mail two weeks ago." Blair's eyes widened in horror. "I don't know why you look so shocked, sweetie. You should have gotten one too."

"I-I didn't check," Blair said. "I-I told the school-I specifically requested a single-"

"Hate to break it to you, honey," Georgina said, taking back the slip of paper and tucking it into her oversized bag, "but you're not queen anymore. The only one who follows your orders anymore is that one right there-" she poked a finger in the direction of Chuck "-and sooner or later, even he's going to realize that Blair Waldorf doesn't have any jurisdiction in thiskingdom. Or any kingdom for that matter. I have some business to take care of at the Gallatin office, so I'm sorry I have to cut this little party short. But I'll see you later, okay roomie?"

And then Blair was left speechless as Georgina left, shutting the door behind her.

It was all Blair could do not to scream. She gripped Chuck's hand tighter than she ever had before, her nails digging into his skin.

"Please tell me that did not just happen," Blair said, teeth grinding together.

Without missing a beat, Chuck said, "Let's get you a latte, shall we?"

***

Usually a non-fat vanilla bean latte was enough to calm Blair's seemingly always-racing nerves.

Today… Not so much.

"God knows what she's planning on doing to me, Chuck," Blair said, rapidly stirring her frothy latte with a half-crushed wooden stick. For the last ten minutes, Blair hadn't even touched her drink, but she had attacked it with such ferocity that the whirpool she had created with the stick would probably be Class 5.

"I mean, you'll probably come to see me tomorrow only to find me chopped up into little pieces and shoved in a garbage bag underneath her bed," Blair continued as Chuck sipped his black coffee with an engaged look on his face. "With my guts strung up like streamers in the room like, 'I'm a complete and total nut job and I killed Blair Waldorf'. Oh god, Chuck, she's going to kill me.

"She's not going to kill you, Blair."

"She's going to kill me and she's going to throw me in the river so no one will ever find me!"

Chuck reached over and stopped Blair's hands from moving by covering them with one of his own. He then reached up with the other hand and tilted her face up to meet his.

"Blair," he said, his voice so firm that Blair was forced to listen. She felt silly when her heart started to beat faster as she looked into his eyes. They'd been together officially for three months now, and every time Chuck looked at her like he was now, like it was painful for him to see her upset, she felt like that same, vulnerable sixteen-year-old she'd been in the back of Chuck's limo two years ago.

And just like that, her pulse slowed and her mind stopped racing.

"She's not going to hurt you, Blair," Chuck said.

"Why else would she do this to me, Chuck?" Blair asked, honestly curious. She knew that Georgina hated her, but why go as far as request to be her roommate? College was supposed to be a fresh start. And so far, it wasn't even close. "And she's enrolled at Gallatin. You know that someone majored in 'Evil' there a couple years ago? Maybe she plans on making _me_ her final project."

"You know," Chuck said, his voice softer than she'd ever heard before. "My offer still stands."

And if she was being honest, it was one of the hardest things she had ever done to push that thought out of her mind. Because right then, it was so easy to imagine living with Chuck. Sure, they'd only been 'together' together for three months, but they'd been through so much shit that it seemed like their relationship had lasted forever. And living with Chuck definitely seemed like the most enjoyable solution to her Georgina problem.

But this was Blair's fight. Not Chucks. And she was going to prove to Georgina that she was still Queen, and that it wasn't going to change anytime soon.

"No," Blair said, shaking her head and smiling. "I need to do this. I'm going to end this once and for all."

Just then, Chuck's cell phone went off. She watched him glance at it, toy with the idea of answering it, and then put it away.

"It's okay," Blair said, eyeing his phone with an encouraging smile. "Pick it up."

"Thanks," Chuck said, thumbing the green button on his phone and pressing it to his ear. "It's Johanna."

As Chuck started chatting on his phone with Johanna, his PR head, Blair was a little bit proud of herself for the way she'd been handling the whole business aspect of Chuck's life. Sure, he was barely nineteen years old, but he was already in charge of Bass Industries, and that job definitely entailed a lot of work. When they'd first started dating, Chuck had left for a month to go to Sweden and Blair had been sure he was cheating on her. It didn't help that when he returned, he brought leggy, blonde Johanna along with him. She'd been so quick to jump to conclusions back then. But now, she was at least a little bit understanding that while she was the most important thing in his life, she wasn't the _only_ important thing in his life.

"I'm sorry Blair," Chuck said, slipping on his jacket and getting up to kiss her. "There's some miscalculation in accounting and they need me there ASAP."

Blair smiled, trying to hide her disappointment. "I understand. Are we still on for dinner tonight?"

"I don't think it's going to happen tonight, baby. Johanna said the numbers were really screwed up." Here he bent down close to her, and smoothed a piece of hair behind her head. "Are you okay?"

"I'm Blair Waldorf," she said so strongly that she almost believed it herself.

Chuck leaned over and kissed her deeply, in that way he had. In only a few seconds he could make her feel more wanted than she had ever felt in her entire life. "I wouldn't want you any other way."

She watched as he threw a twenty dollar bill on the table and, with a last longing look at her, left the coffee shop and signaled for Antonio.

This wasn't the first time Chuck had left her in the middle of a date for work, and she knew it wouldn't be the last. But every time she watched him walk away, it still made her heart ache. She could smile and laugh and pretend that everything was okay, but it hurt her. And she didn't want him to see that.

Blair looked down at her coffee cup for comfort, only to find it was empty. She needed something to get her mind off of Chuck's work, off of Georgina, off of starting school in less than a week.

She needed Serena.

Blair picked up her phone and pressed speed dial number one.

***

"Oh my God, B," Serena said later that evening as the two of them lay on her bed eating thai takeout and watching _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. Blair had just finished telling Serena the whole story of how one Whoregina Sparks had managed to completly undermine the entire NYU housing system _and _Blair Waldorf in one afternoon. "That girl needs some serious therapy. I am talking _beyond _Dr. Phil."

Blair smiled as Serena said this and took another bite of her pad thai. It was delicious.

"Now that is the proper reaction to this situation," Blair remarked, frustrated with Chuck's seemingly disinterested reaction earlier that day at the café. When Serena looked confused, Blair added, "Chuck seems to think Georgina is harmless."

Serena propped herself up with one hand, facing Blair. "Now, I probably don't know everything about Georgina Sparks, but I do know one thing for certain and that's that she is a time bomb just waiting to explode. And it seems like you're her next target."

"I know!" Blair sighed, laying on her back and staring at the ceiling. "She's like a highly intensified, less perfect version of me."

"Aw," Serena joked, scooting closer to Blair on the bed just as a drunk woman in the movie started crying at her own reflection in the mirror. "Are you… scared, Blair?"

"No!" Blair replied immediately. "Maybe. Sort of."

Serena raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, she terrifies me. Like a monster in a closet. Except I'm eighteen, not eight," Blair said, flipping over so she was facing Serena. "I should be able to take care of myself, S. And it's pretty obvious that this isn't going to work. Either Georgina's going down, or I am, and you know better than I do that she has no boundaries."

"You know," Serena started, saying it so slowly that Blair was certain that she wasn't going to like what Serena was about to say. "You could always-"

"No, Serena," Blair said with another heavy sigh. "While our relationship is moving along at a steady and satisfying pace, I'm almost one hundred percent sure I am not ready to live with Chuck. Who knows what will happen if the two of us are under one roof for and extended period of time. The motherchucker might do something or say something that will force me to strangle him with his scarf. And I'm not sure living with Chuck is worth the chance of thirty to life."

"Well," Serena said, sticking her fork in a carton of noodles, "seems like that option is out."

Blair nodded and then the two of them returned their focus to the movie and their food for a little while. Blair wasn't sure what to say. She had no solution to this seemingly impossible problem, at least, not one that didn't involve life in prison or murder.

A few minutes passed before Serena suddenly jerked up, a hurricane of blonde hair and Gucci perfume.

"Oh my God, I forgot to tell you," Serena said, squealing like a five-year-old. "I've decided not to go to Brown."

"What?" Blair asked incredulously. First of all, how the hell had Serena spent the last few hours with Blair without even mentioning this little fact to her? Well, it was very like Serena to completely forget about something so important and then insert it randomly into later conversation like it wasn't a big deal. Second of all, why did she seem so freaking excited about it?

"I'm staying in the city," Serena repeated, as if Blair should know what she was talking about.

"And you expect me to be thrilled that you're giving up college so you can waste your time in the city for a whole year?"

"No, my dear Blair Waldorf," Serena said, smile as dazzling as ever. These times Blair could really understand why everyone was always so 'Serena! Serena! Serena!' She really was the most charming person that Blair had ever met. "I expect you to be thrilled that you are looking at your new roommate."

It took Blair a few seconds before she got it.

"We-" she said, pointing at herself and then at Serena. "are going to move in together?"

"Yes!" Serena squealed, bouncing on the bed. "We can get an apartment on Park, and you can go to school, and I can find a job, and we can watch Audrey and eat takeout every night, and then we can go and get scones and coffee every morning, and it'll be perfect Blair! Just say yes!"

Blair thought about it for a moment. She and Serena were best friends, best _best _friends, really. They had been since before either of them could read or eat with a fork or go to the bathroom anywhere other than their diapers. Blair knew everything about Serena. Serena understood everything about Blair. They both accepted each other for who they were, even when it drove them insane. Sometimes Serena was so air headed and effortlessly lucky that Blair wanted to cut off all that gorgeous blonde hair, and sometimes Blair could be so bitchy that Serena wanted to give her a headband like the corset in the old Snow White story, the one that got smaller and smaller until it squeezed the life out of it's wearer. They hated and loved everything about each other. They'd been through everything together; boys, growing up, high school. But one thing they had never experienced was living together.

There was definitely a chance that neither she nor Serena would make it out of their new apartment together alive. But they were grown up now, right? They were both mature, self-dependent adults who could manage to cohabitate and get along without killing each other in their sleep. Besides, anything was better than rooming with Georgina.

"Of course, S," Blair said, and then they hugged like only best friends can hug before watching Holly Golightly have her very own happy ending.

***

Blair stayed the night at Serena's that night, and the next morning they went apartment shopping. They found their perfect one within hours. Beautiful view, on park, two bedrooms, fireplace. And after a VdW check (they were going to alternate paying rent every month) and a quick background check, Serena van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf were officially shacking up.

Blair hadn't spoken to Chuck since the night before, but she had asked him to meet her at the Palace bar for drinks so she could tell him her good news.

"Hello, beautiful," Chuck said in that sexy ass voice of his when he walked in, looking dashing as usual. He kissed her on the cheek, something that only Chuck could do to make Blair want to jump his bones on the spot. "What's the good news?"

Blair smiled slyly, twirled the olive in her martini. "I took care of Georgina."

Chuck leaned back on his stool, intensely interested. "Elaborate, please."

"Well," Blair started, "let's just say that Georgina's new roommate Esther is a staunch born-again Christian and she's _very _eager to meet our morally lapsed, wayward friend."

"Wow, Waldorf," Chuck said, amused grin on his face. "I must say, I'm impressed. How did you swing that one?"

Blair smiled. "My dad holds some sway with the Dean. I had him make a phone call. I didn't specifically ask for Esther, but apparently the Gods were working in my favor. I mean, Serena and I even found this amazing apartment this morning-"

"Wait," Chuck said, his voice suddenly tense. "You and Serena are-are moving in together."

"Yeah," Blair said, a little confused. "It was Serena's idea."

"So," Chuck said slowly, refusing to look at her, "you'll move in with Serena, but you won't move in with me?"

"What?" Blair asked, completely stupefied. When she had pictured telling Chuck about her plan in her head, Chuck was happy that she'd found a solution that was comfortable for everyone involved. She had expected him to be elated that she wouldn't have to spend an entire year holed up with the spawn of Satan. "Are you… jealous, Chuck?"

"No," he said, spinning around to face her. "I'm not jealous, Waldorf. I'm just having a hard time understanding what the problem is here."

"The _problem_, Bass? I think the problem here is you."

"Me? You're the one who's foregoing me for Serena."

Blair could feel the anger rising in her. "She's my best friend, Chuck. My _best _friend."

"And I'm your boyfriend, Blair," Chuck said.

Blair could hardly stand to look at him. He looked so hurt and angry and vulnerable and sexy all at the same time. It was impossible to comprehend.

"I thought you said that you understood why I wasn't ready," Blair said quietly, focusing on her martini. "I thought you were willing to accept that-"

"Just like you were willing to accept that I wasn't ready to tell you I loved you?" Chuck said, and it was like a slap in the face.

"That's not fair-" Blair started, all pity for him gone.

"You pushed me, Blair," he said. "I wasn't ready and you pushed me."

"Oh, and so you think the solution to this problem is to do the exact same thing that I did, huh?" Blair answered, getting off her chair and grabbing her purse. "We've talked about this Chuck. I told you that I was sorry for rushing you, but I wanted you, Chuck. I wanted you more than I'd ever wanted anything in my entire life, and I did what I had to do."

"You knew I loved you, Blair," Chuck said. "You knew it. You just wanted me to prove it."

"Just like you want me to do now," Blair answered.

The silence that followed was one of those unbearable ones, like after a particularly nasty storm, a silence that seemed unnatural for the two. Blair was fuming, Chuck was fuming, and together they were an unstoppable force. Now they were two unstoppable forces heading straight at each other. It was anyone's guess who was going to prove to be stronger.

They'd fought before, but it was nothing like this. It had started the same, zero to sixty in the span of a few seconds, like the eye of a hurricane. But this was something more. Blair didn't understand why Chuck was so angry. And even more, he'd deliberately brought up something she thought had been settled just to hurt her.

And she hated the fact that it worked. He knew just where to hit her to leave the biggest bruise.

"Excuse me," Blair said, trying to hold back the tears as she flung her purse over her shoulder, "but Serena and I have to finish unpacking."

She barely made it into the cab before she started crying.

***

"That mother chucking BASSHOLE!" Blair screamed later as she ripped open a box labeled 'FRAGILE'. "I thought I was finally going to be completely and totally happy for once in my life and he has to go and fucking ruin it!"

"Woah, there," Serena said, wearing a pair of uncharacteristic overalls that she still managed to make look sexy. "Easy with the glass, B."

Serena rescued the box from Blair's tyrannical hands and gave Blair a much simpler (and less dangerous task): the bedding.

Blair was still emitting smoke from her ears as she tugged the sheets a little too roughly onto their mattresses. They had ordered bed frames from Barneys, but they weren't going to be there until the morning, so tonight they were sleeping on the floor in the living room.

Blair got halfway through putting the Egyptian cotton sheets on her own mattress before she decided it was too much work and collapsed into the heap of blankets piled in the middle and started crying.

"B!" Serena said, rushing to her side and putting her arms around her. "It's okay, B. Don't cry. Chuck will come around."

"No it's not!" Blair said, her voice muffled by her sobs and one particularly large pillow. "He won't!"

"Yes," Serena insisted, pulling Blair up to face her. "He will. Now, look at me."

Blair did, but not before carefully wiping any trace of raccoon eyes away and composing herself. She was pretty sure she still looked like a mess.

"Chuck has never told anyone that he loves them before, B," Serena said. "And he tells you so many times it's almost sickening. He loves you, Blair. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but what you and Chuck have is real. You belong together. You know it. He knows it. God, _everyone _knows it, Blair. And sure, you guys had a little fight, but that's what couples do. I don't know if you remember, but you and Chuck certainly didn't skip along in a merry little forest with all the singing woodland creatures _before _you got together."

Blair sniffed. "This is different."

"No, honey, it's not," Serena said, shaking her head. "And it's not anything to worry about. Take it from the girl who has been in way more relationships than healthy for a nineteen-year-old girl. Fighting is normal. And also healthy. As weird as that sounds."

"I don't know how to fix this," Blair said, tucking her head into Serena's shoulder. "I don't know how to show him that I love him, but I'm just not ready to live with him."

Serena stroked Blair's hair. "You don't have to, B. He knows it. He's just so madly in love with you that it hurts him when you're not ready to move forward. Think about it. You've always been the one to make all the moves, to push him to further your relationship. Now he wants to and you don't. He's probably just confused."

Blair closed her eyes, suddenly very tired. "I hope you're right, S. I'm not sure how much more drama I can take."

Serena laughed. "Okay, did you seriously just say that?"

Blair's eyes flicked open. "Say what?"

"Well…" Serena started. "I hate to break it to you, B, but you are, by a landslide, the most dramatic person I know."

"Hey!" Blair squealed, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Serena. "I want nice Serena back!"

"Well then you probably won't like this," Serena said cryptically before a smile creeped onto her face.

And then she threw a large pillow that nailed Blair directly on the side of the head.

War declaration clearly drawn between them, Blair and Serena spent the next ten minutes running around their entire apartment and engaging in possibly the most frantic pillow fight that ever existed. There were feathers everywhere, boxes everywhere, and Blair was just about to aim the throw pillow in her left hand when she hear a voice.

"Am I invited to this little party?" Chuck said from the door, which the two of them had left ajar in their excitement. Both Blair and Serena froze at the sight of him. He was wearing his same work shirt, but with the sleeves rolled up and no tie in sight. In his arms was a bottle of champagne. His eyes were locked to Blair's, a smile on his face. Neither of them had to say anything to know all was forgiven between the two of them. She loved that about them. With Chuck and Blair, words weren't necessary.

Blair felt a smile slowly spreading onto her face as she turned to look at Serena, who was looking at her with the same cryptic smile.

And then they both took aim and fired at Chuck, who was already running to tackle Blair onto the waiting mattress.


	5. White Knight

"Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore; not because they are pretty, or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves."

--Henri Frederic Amiel

***

If Blair had learned one thing from marrying Chuck, it was that morning sex was possibly her favorite activity in the entire world.

Since he almost always woke up earlier than she did, Blair never needed to set an alarm clock. Instead of a series of annoying blaring sounds waking her up, Blair always awakened to soft kisses on her neck and Chuck's hands making a trail all the way down her body.

"Good morning, beautiful," he would murmur into her hair or her breasts or wherever his mouth happened to be at the moment, and she would close her eyes and let a satisfied smile take over her entire face and think that people wouldn't hate getting up in the morning so much if they only had Chuck Bass to soften the blow.

He had woken her up like this every morning for the past three months, every day since they had finally gotten married. Once he had even done so at three in the morning when he had had to catch an early flight to LAX, and even though Blair had gone back to sleep afterward, she fully believed it still counted. It wasn't so much the sex that Blair relished (but of course she enjoyed it immensely, because Chuck made it his special mission to make absolutely sure that she enjoyed it over and over again). It was the fact that this was something special to herself and Chuck and no one else and she could look forward to it for the rest of her life.

Which was why Blair was pretty upset when she awakened one morning not to Chuck caressing her thighs, but to the sound of Chuck yelling angrily at someone in the other room. It took her a few moments to get her bearings and to get over the wave of anger that invaded her brain before she threw on the slip she had worn to bed and opened the door to the other living room.

Chuck was there, his back turned to her, and he was yelling.

"I don't care that you came all the way here," he said, "I just want you to get out of my house and never come back."

And that was when Blair noticed that Chuck wasn't talking on the phone like she had previously suspected, but instead to a very rumpled, very, very dirty Jack Bass.

Seeing Jack, Blair's heart skipped a beat (not in a good way), and apparently so did Jack's because at that moment his mouth turned up into a smirk and he said, "It seems as if we have company, nephew."

Chuck whipped around and the look Blair saw in his eyes was enough to render her speechless.

"Go back inside," he said, no tenderness in his voice.

"What is he doing here?" Blair asked, never one to be ordered around by anyone (especially Chuck Bass).

"He said he was my lawyer and the concierge let him up," Chuck said, "but that is beside the point, Blair, because I just told you to go back to the bedroom."

"Aw, Chuck, does she have to go?" Jack said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and she wanted to slap him more in that moment than she had ever wanted to before. "I haven't even gotten a good look yet."

At that moment, Chuck strode over to her, grabbed her arm just a little too tightly, and half-pulled her into the bedroom, saying, "I'll explain later," before exiting and slamming the door behind him.

To say that Blair was mad would be an understatement. Since they had been married, Chuck had been surprisingly angelic. Sure, there had been a few tiffs over a pair of underwear she had discovered in his briefcase (hers, she had left them at his office a few days before), and the half-drunken bottle scotch Dorota had unearthed from a dresser drawer (his, he had had a particularly rough night at work and had wanted to drown his sorrows). But even Blair, who had always seen the best in Chuck before anyone else, had been surprise how drama-free their first few months as a married couple had been together. She had, of course, had these fleeting thoughts; doubts, more like it. Doubts that Chuck was going to be happy knowing that he was off the market, that he was going to be married to the same person for the rest of his life, that he was only going to be able to have sex with one person for the rest of his life. But then Blair had remembered that he had been the one to say I love you, the one to ask her to move in with him, the one to propose to her, the one who had seemed completely sure in his choice, the one who had kept coming back to her over and over again even when she was sure she didn't want him to.

Things had been smooth. Up until now. Now, the wrath Blair felt towards him was reminiscent of the days before he had told her he loved her, the days when he had played with her as if she were a toy and not a human being with thoughts and emotions and feelings. This was the sort of anger she had felt back when they had played games to see who could hurt who the most, games that felt exhilarating and powerful while they were happening, but after they were over left her feeling empty and drained of all energy and emotion.

_This is just like him,_ Blair thought, lying in bed, her fingers clutching a pillow to her chest so she didn't punch something (Audrey Hepburn would never punch something). _He tricks me into think he's actually a good person and not a mother chucking basstard and then, BAM, he's off being a Basshole again._

Blair could not stop fuming as she thought about how much of a jerk Chuck was being. He had no right to tell her what she could and couldn't do, and then to make her go back in the bedroom just because Jack was back? What did he think he was doing? Protecting her? Because she didn't feel protected at all. In fact, all she felt was incredibly pissed off.

Blair considered just laying there until he came back, but instead she decided that Blair Waldorf did not do submissive. She got dressed as quickly as she could manage, spritzed herself with Chanel no. 5, dabbed on some of the dark red lipstick that she knew drove Chuck crazy, grabbed her purse, and threw open the bedroom door defiantly, strutting across the living room to the elevator all before Chuck could stop her.

"Where are you going?" Chuck called out as she stood in the elevator.

Blair gave him her bitchiest, most charming smile.

"Out," she said, and then the elevator door closed and Blair had won.

***

"B," Serena said, popping a macaroon and licking the leftover chocolate from her finger, "I think you may be overreacting a teensy bit."

"Overreacting?" Blair said, pacing the floor like she had been for the past twenty minutes. "Carrie overreacted. I am not overreacting."

Earlier Blair had thought she could go to Serena and they could both proceed to do what they used to do when they were younger and engage in a much needed I-hate-Chuck-Bass venting session, but she had been sadly mistaken. She had relayed her entire story to Serena, who had seemed a little bit concerned that Chuck had grabbed her, but after Blair had reassured her that it was totally fine, that she was okay other than the whole Chuck being an asshole thing, Serena had been surprisingly skeptical and level-headed.

"I mean, it's like he was still the same mother chucker all along, but he just hid it from me up until now because he knew that once he married me, I was stuck," Blair said.

"Yes, Blair," Serena deadpanned, thumbing through _Vogue_. "Chuck has been secretly plotting against you and only married you so he could act like a total asshat and get away with it. That's totally logical."

"S!" Blair shrieked.

Serena sighed and put down the magazine. "B, look, I'm sorry that I can't be more supportive but, I don't know, have you ever thought that maybe instead of freaking out about one little thing to me you should talk to Chuck about this. Sure, what he did was completely unfair, but have you ever thought that maybe he is only trying to protect you? Don't you remember what happened with Lily and Jack at the opera? Chuck is your husband, B, and sooner or later you're going to have to work through this with him, and sooner is always better because if you let this build up for a long time, like I know you can do B, you're going to become completely convinced that he's a bad person and you won't forgive him."

"He wouldn't let me near him, remember?" Blair added, defensively.

"He wouldn't let you near Jack, B," Serena said. "There's a difference. Now stop coming up with excuses and go talk to him."

And as much as Blair hated to admit it, Serena was completely right. She knew that she couldn't keep this inside, that she had to tell him how much he had hurt her. If he didn't know, how could she expect him to feel bad about it? On the bright side, once he saw how terribly he had treated her, he would have to make it up to her. And another nagging part of Blair's brain told her that once he knew how she felt, it would be like they had broken through a barrier, the one barrier of their relationship. They could have all the amazing sex in the world, they could know exactly what each other wanted without having to say it, but sometimes they had the hardest time trusting each other and communicating. It had never been their strong suit.

"God, S, when did you become an expert on relationships?" Blair asked, letting herself smile for the first time since coming over.

Serena grinned. "Around the same time that I actually started talking to Nate instead of just expecting all of our problems to disappear. Which is what you should be doing right now."

"If you wanted me to leave, all you had to do was ask," Blair said playfully as she got into the elevator and the doors closed behind her.

Blair was actually pretty excited after talking with Serena. Her anger had transformed into something she couldn't exactly place, but she was ready to talk to Chuck. Maybe this was the one step their relationship needed in order to be absolutely perfect. Maybe if they could talk about this they could learn to talk about everything else instead of shutting down or blowing up at the slightest sign of incident. Maybe-

Blair froze as she exited the elevator, only to be confronted by the one and only Jack Bass. She had quite a few questions to ask him, but the first one she managed to get out as she walked right past him was, "Dear God, who was moronic enough to let you in here?"

Just as she knew he would, Jack followed her out of Serena's building and onto Park Ave. He smelled like a liquor store, and so she didn't stop walking.

"My money's still good somewhere," Jack said, struggling to keep up with Blair's fast pace. She wanted answers, but she also wanted to get rid of the slimy toad. She couldn't decide which one she wanted most until she finally stopped walking and whipped around to face him. He was standing literally centimeters away from her, looking at her in a way that made her regret her decision.

"Now I don't think Chuck would like this very much," he breathed into Blair's ear, and she responded by walloping him with her purse.

"Fuck!" he swore. "I was only kidding."

"You're going to listen to me, Jack," Blair began, "and you're going to listen to me closely because I'm only going to say this once. And if you try anything I swear to God I'll scream. As far as I am concerned you're dead, and so I'd rather not be having this little conversation, but seeing as how Chuck and I haven't seen you for four years and all the sudden you just show up out of the blue, it's necessary. Chuck has been happier than he has ever been since we've gotten married and I'm not going to let you ruin it. So you're going to tell me what you want, I'm going to tell you no, and then you're going to leave and never come back. Understood?"

Jack straightened up, a smirk on his lips, and Blair couldn't help but notice that his lips were very much like Chuck's. The thought made her want to throw up, so she stared him directly in the eyes.

"What if I said," Jack started, his eyes traveling up and down her body in such a way that her skin felt like it was being invaded by fire ants, "that what I wanted was you."

"Ew!" Blair said, stepping back. "You're disgusting."

"And you're pathetic. How can you stay with him when he treats you like that?"

Blair knew he was referring to the morning incident, when Chuck had grabbed her arm and made her go back into the bedroom. She wanted to kill Jack Bass so much right then. Did he not understand that he was the reason that Chuck had acted like he had earlier?

"Are you kidding? It's your-" Blair started before realizing that if Jack Bass was anything, it was definitely not worth her time. "You know what? Forget about it. Do what you want. Just don't come back here. Ever."

Blair raised her hand for a cab, trying to ignore Jack as it pulled up next to her. As she slid into the backseat, Jack stopped the door with his hand.

"This isn't over," he said before shutting the door. Blair's eyes were fixed out the window as she watched Jack walk down Park Ave, and she couldn't look away until the driver asked, "Where to?"

"Empire Hotel," Blair answered, her voice a little shaky, but she had never been so sure of anything. Not ever.

***

When Blair got back to the hotel, she was nervous and excited and angry all at the same time. Would Chuck still be there? Was he mad at her for leaving? If he was mad, he had no reason to be. He was the one who had acted so incredibly angry that morning and, if anything, she was the one who had the right to be mad. Blair had to remind herself that the whole point of this experience was not to be mad, but to learn to communicate. Chuck was her husband, after all, and despite all the immature heartbreak they had put each other through, they were together now and that was all that mattered. And if they wanted to stay together, they were going to have to learn to communicate.

_Here goes_, Blair thought as the elevator opened to their penthouse suite.

"Hello?" she said, her voice tentative as she walked into the kitchen and set her purse down on the counter. Chuck was sitting there, on one of the bar stools, his hair mussed and his eyes frantic.

"Thank God," he said, coming over to her the second he saw her and wrapping his arms around her. "Jack left and I was worried because I thought he might go after you-"

"He did," Blair said, her eyes on the floor. "I talked to him. I'm fine, though."

"I swear to God, if he touched you, I'm going to-"

"Chuck," Blair said, taking hold of Chuck's hand and turning his face to meet hers. "I don't want to talk about Jack. I want to talk about us."

Chuck's body softened around her, his jaw unclenched. His hand stroked the side of her cheek as he said, "Blair, if this is about me grabbing you, I hope you know that I will never do that again."

Blair shook her head. "I know, Chuck. You didn't hurt me and I know you were mad, but that's not what this is about. Do you remember my cotillion, when Nate punched Carter because he thought I'd slept with him?"

"I told him that Carter was your new boyfriend to throw him off our trail," Chuck said, confused, "but that was a long ti-"

"Chuck, seriously shut up for two seconds so I can tell you what I've been thinking about since I left this morning," Blair said, immediately proud of herself for the authoritative role she had taken on. She waited until Chuck nodded, then continued. "Back when I was sixteen, I remember thinking how hot it was that Nate had done that, how he had done all of that to defend my honor or whatever. I remember thinking, 'Wow, I am so lucky to have a boyfriend who will do just about anything to protect me'. But now that I'm older, when I look back on that moment, all I can think about is that I didn't need Nate to protect me from anything. I know now that what is so intriguing about you, the reason that I picked you over Nate, is that you don't treat me like I'm so china doll that will break if you so much as let anyone else look at me. Nate was always pretending like he was some sort of savior. But you... you have always acknowledged the fact that I am your equal."

Blair stopped here, looking for some sort of emotion in Chuck's eyes. She wasn't entirely sure, but she was almost certain that she saw that same look he had given her on that fateful night at Victrola's. It was hard to believe that that was almost 8 years ago.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you, Chuck, but I don't need you to protect me. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

Chuck smiled and pulled Blair to him, wrapping his arms around her. "Are you sure about that, because I can fire Dorota and we can test that theory."

Blair glared at him. Her glare was enough to make teenage girls cry, so of course it was enough to make Chuck Bass cut the jokes and be serious.

"Trust me, Blair," he said, resting his chin on the top of her head. He smelled like cigars and scotch and Burberry, three scents that when combined were almost enough to make Blair fall asleep instantly. "I wouldn't want you any other way. The fact that you don't need me to take care of you is one of the many reasons why this ring-" he said, holding up his ring finger "-is there."

Blair smiled, nuzzling into Chuck's chest. Serena was right. Communicating was way more effective than letting things lie. She felt so much better already.

"But you know," Chuck said, running his finger through Blair's chocolate hair, "there is one way I can think of that only I can take care of you."

And before Blair could say anything or even think anything, Chuck had her in his arms and was kissing her neck and carrying her into the bedroom and this time she didn't mind in the slightest bit.


End file.
